By: Dr. Natasha Dua, Sr. Sub Editor-ICN
LUCKNOW: “Hey, do your parents understand you?”, asked the 12 year old girl, with a gleam of curiosity and a stroke of grief in her shivering voice. Her tone vividly portrayed her desire to be understood by her parents, who like all other parents belonged to another generation, but like some other parents chose to be extremely stringent in their thoughts, believing that they are always right, preferring to be listened to, without letting their dear children express their feelings, opinions and attitude.
Do such parents ever realize the unavoidable impact this will have on the lives of their children and their way of living, comprehending and thinking? These instances, which seem to be meager convert these innocent kids into ‘Liars’, who tend to hide facts from their strict parents and gradually result in ‘Lack of Self Confidence’. This consequences into development of an identity that their family is absolutely unaware of, resulting in Depression and Personality Disorder. Such children might also get involved into crime and abuse, due to which they may fall into a category of ‘Criminals’.
There are incidents where parents want to govern their kids, without understanding their ground of thinking, which may differ from theirs but would not always be wrong. Kids should instead be given the opportunity define their thoughts, continued by a healthy discussion with their parents, where both the parties are given an equal opportunity to explain themselves.
Parents often feel that their ‘Experiences’ have taught them enough and they want their kids to be sheltered, avoiding all the storms that life has to offer. We really appreciate your efforts, dear Parents, however, these incidents are going to help them learn, groom and evolve, while shaping their individual personalities in a positive fashion.
Not being understood by parents, children usually start discussing their thoughts with their peers, who belong to the same age group as them and may not be the best decision makers. In such a case, children stand a chance to be misguided and mislead, eventually walking on a path that may lead them to an unpleasant world of suffering and immorality. They may be wrong and immature, but they should be corrected in such a case and, perhaps, correction can happen only by understanding their point of view.
Most Indian parents don’t appreciate conversations about certain topics i.e. physical relationships, drugs, sexual harassment, etc with their children. However, it is a parent’s duty to make kids aware about the worldly issues, which includes these concerns as well. In some households, using words like ‘Sex’ and ‘Drugs’ is a stigma, but the more children will converse with their parents, the better they will understand the real scenario from his/her first teacher, who is his/her parent. It is a genuine need to bridge the gap and start giving kids some freedom to speak out their thoughts, while eliminating the hitch.
‘Communication’, the principal tool that has always been used by mankind, which has always played a major role in solving problems, should once again be used for the betterment of the younger generations. This is certainly the best way to improve relationships and to instigate transparency, pertaining to an individualistic as well as a holistic level.